It’s been awhile. Quite awhile. I’m not exactly sure why I stopped blogging. Looking back there are a mix of
excuses reasons. One way I can explain it is this… have you ever waited so long to write a thank you note that you just never write it and hope no one notices? No? Okay — how about committing in your head (at night, because its always at night) that you are going to ‘get healthy’ again…. yet upon awakening you rush to get dressed and skip breakfast, or run through the coffee shop and completely vow to start the next day.
It was kind of like that. But now its time. Time to bring the blog back. It may look different — and sound different. I’m older, been married longer, we have teenagers, have been blessed with more little ones, have a small business and love loose leaf tea. Some things are still the same though…. we homeschool, are in the same house, I absolutely love being a Christ follower, am married to my high school sweetheart and know how to rock my favorite season of clothing — layers. August Fields has pushed play, to a new season.
We’ll jump right in to where I’m at now.
Our oldest daughter, Gabby, is 15. This age has been the age I’ve been waiting for my daughters to hit. More accurately would be 12ish to 17. It was a time in my own life where I was completely impressionable. Like, I could be easily and seriously swayed to completely think that my hair style was ridiculous, or my face was too round. My identity was in what I looked like and what others thought of me. And as fickle as ALL people are, imagine your identity being determined by that! I felt like a different person every day. It brought a lot of sadness and confusion to my life as well as many really happy moments. If someone else was pleased with me = happiness.
As a young, Christian mom of two little girls, I prayed fervently that my found identity in Christ would not be shaken. That God would allow me to be able to explain, teach and model the confidence that I could only long I had as a young girl.
It. Is. So. Freeing. To know that I am the way I am because the same God that created the intricacies of this world, created me. To say that I am not ‘right’ would be to say He is a failure. God does not fail.
Raising our 2 girls and 5 boys under that umbrella of hope lifts a burden no one should ever shoulder. You are LOVED.
I have found that having older children along with little ones in the house at the same time requires a whole new set of parenting skills that are tweaked and discovered daily! For several years with only littles, my days were spent tying shoes, cutting up food, buckling in and out of high chairs and carseats, reading to them, wiping faces, changing diapers, nap time… you get it. NOW….. there is still that PLUS the adult level communication that happens as our children get older. It truly is fascinating and I love the conversations that happen. My exhaustion now comes from a mix of physical work AND mental work. Which, honestly at the end of the day brings a feeling of accomplishment with the desire to want to do even better the next day.
Our youngest little guy is 17 months old. Being a 38 year old mom with a 17 month old conjures up numerous emotions and my heart swells with gratefulness that are different than when I was 22 years old with one little baby. I guess I FEEL more. I really get that each life is so precious and our bodies are fragile. I savor each moment and am going to work on capturing more of them here on a consistant basis.